2007-11-03
ah, retail.
What is there left to be said, besides RETAIL SUCKS. I am so over this job, after only about 6 weeks (no surprise for me). Everyone who is superior to me is clique-y and lame. What kind of losers want to make their careers in retail? people I don't get along with, that's who. The job is just so un-rewarding and lame. Lame, lame, lame.
So, studying for the LSAT is going ok, but I should be studying a lot more. I'm getting nervous about not even getting IN to law school. The LSAT is in less than a month now. yikes. Maybe if my stupid job wasn't making me so tired I'd have more energy to study. (which has turned out to be a lot more physical than I though...I am doing all the shipment, so moving boxes, heavy lifting, etc)
It's also zapping my energy to run. I've only been running 2-3 times a week, boo. At least the weather has cooled so my runs are a lot longer than usual. Plus, I actually found some hills within 3 miles of my house, so that's been more enjoyable. I guess I still have the energy to puke, though. Ugh. What still surprises me most is how easy it has become for me. For years & years, I couldn't throw up on my own will...not even close. Now I can just bend over and...let it out (unless I ate pizza or something else bready). So I think it's amazing that so many people still think ED's are started for purely superficial/physical reasons. Yes, they usually come from some kind of body super self-hatred (me), but EDs are so completely mental. My mind wants me to throw up so badly, that I can do it now. I honestly don't even know if I've lost any weight. My body image is so warped anyway, I know that I can't clearly see how I look. All I know is that my body disgusts me, and now I obsess over food.
I am ready for my day off tomorrow, and SO luckily, it falls on the night that we get an extra hour of sleep. Thanks daylight savings!
missaru at 11:58 p.m.